Vanessa here! Well, I haven’t watched the show since the last time I recapped, which feels like ages ago.  And from the look on Cat Deeley’s face, it was ages ago.  We are all ready for this to be over. Cole seems to be “unavailable” to do these recaps more and more frequently, and quite frankly, I am suspicious.

That “results night” even exists is very frustrating.  This whole show could be handled in two minutes or a quick list online.  But they know it’s cheap to make and they know we will watch it.  AND WE DO.

We start the night with a group number in BROADWAY STYLE; mind-blowingly to the song “On Broadway.”  From what I can gather, “Broadway Style” dance entails sparkly bowler hats– or if you think outside of the box, a sparkly top hat.  This whole opening number is very show-choir-meets-Burlesque and judging from the glitter-explosion at the end, Ke$ha had some h@nd in this fuckery. Read More

Cole here! On my command—release the All-Stars! It’s time for the top ten dancers to be matched up with some of the best and most dynamic dancers the show ever saw! After their brief individual dance intros, Cat Deely appears in a tight shiny black dress with gold details (with echoes of those Egyptian dancers from that Michael Jackson “Black or White” video) and sets the stage—in addition to their routines, each dancer will be doing a solo. It’s time to meet our—JUDGES! (Audience 1, Cat 0) and, lo and behold, it’s Neil Patrick Harris, looking dapper in a striped suit! It’s Mary Murphy, looking more and more like Chester Cheetah every time we see her. It’s executive producer Nigel Lythgoe, who evidently put on his yuk-yuk cummerbund tonight as he attempted to plant zingers throughout the show. Nigel announces the on sale date for the summer tour (July 29th, for those of you interested in trying to land some sweet seats), and Neil congratulates Nigel on the success of the show and its impact on dance. To the routines! Read More

Ok, ok, Cole here. I know I missed the results show recap last week, and I’ll endeavor to do it tonight, but for the business at hand—it’s the last performance show for the top six couples! After this week, they’ll be split up and paired with SYTYCD All-Stars. Cat Deely, in a silvery dress with what appears to be ostrich feathers looks lovely as always (I exclaimed, out loud, to no one, “Oooh! A sparkly!” a la Jeremy the crow in Secret of Nimh when she appeared) intros all of the dancers, and then it’s time to meet our judges (Cat goes back to letting the audience fill in her catch phrase again, thus officially starting the “Will she say or won’t she say it?” Cat Deely drinking game). It’s special guest Jesse Tyler Ferguson from one of the best comedies on television Modern Family! He’s a big fan of the show and seems super tickled to be there. Next is intense choreographer Sonya Tayeh, wearing her usual Mad Max casual. Mary Murphy and Nigel Lythgoe are there as always, and are about to lock lips when Cat stops them. I only wish Cat had stopped several of the contestants and choreographers, who once again are obsessed with osculation! Read More