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  • July14th

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    So You Think You Can Recap: Results 7/14/11

    Posted in: Tube Talk

    Cole has a doctor’s note excusing him from this week’s Results Show recap (something about extreme sexual exhaustion), so this is Heather checking in and hitting the barre in his absence.

    A freshly Emmy nominated Cat opens the show in a reincarnated toga. She’s gorgeous, even though she looks like a stunt double from Troy. Tonight’s group dance begins with Sexy Jordan doing a solo in an enormous cape/skirt thing. The way the guys spread open the parachute of a dress and billow its edges is a dead giveaway: choreographer Kelly Abbey has been stealing ideas from her local Gymboree.  The music is called “Fuego,” which combined with the imagery of giant red labia (no? is it just me?) is a clear acknowledgement to the plight of those battling venereal disease. Read More | Comments

  • July14th

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    So You Think You Can Recap: SYTYCD 7/13/11

    Posted in: Tube Talk

    Ok, ok, Cole here. I know I missed the results show recap last week, and I’ll endeavor to do it tonight, but for the business at hand—it’s the last performance show for the top six couples! After this week, they’ll be split up and paired with SYTYCD All-Stars. Cat Deely, in a silvery dress with what appears to be ostrich feathers looks lovely as always (I exclaimed, out loud, to no one, “Oooh! A sparkly!” a la Jeremy the crow in Secret of Nimh when she appeared) intros all of the dancers, and then it’s time to meet our judges (Cat goes back to letting the audience fill in her catch phrase again, thus officially starting the “Will she say or won’t she say it?” Cat Deely drinking game). It’s special guest Jesse Tyler Ferguson from one of the best comedies on television Modern Family! He’s a big fan of the show and seems super tickled to be there. Next is intense choreographer Sonya Tayeh, wearing her usual Mad Max casual. Mary Murphy and Nigel Lythgoe are there as always, and are about to lock lips when Cat stops them. I only wish Cat had stopped several of the contestants and choreographers, who once again are obsessed with osculation! Read More | Comments

  • July6th

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    So You Think You Can Recap: SYTYCD 7/6/11

    Posted in: Tube Talk


    Ok! Cole’s back in dance recap action—I apologize for my absence the last couple weeks (I was traveling for business, seriously!) Many thanks to Vanessa and Heather for filling in and I’m sure we’ll be seeing more from them as I flake out in the future.

    It’s time for our Top 14 couples to take the stage for their intro mini-dances—it’s apparent just from the audience response Melanie and Marko get that they are clearly the front runners. Cat appears in an absolutely fetching light blue kimono-like mini dress and I make audible ga-ga noises. She introduces our judges (and now she says it all the time—this is CLEARLY my influence) and it’s fun to see former-contestant-turned-choreographer-turned-velvet-painting Travis Wall on the panel! He’s joined by Carmen Electra, who is wearing some sort of sheer Kiss of the Spider Woman VHS cover top. Apparently, she started dancing when she was five, and did ballet and modern dance at a performing arts school in Cincinnati, which would explain how she was able to nail all of that “running on the beach” choreography she did on television. Also on the panel are Mary Murphy, who looks more and more like a third place medal every show, and Executive Producer Nigel Lythgoe, dapper and pervy as always. Read More | Comments

  • July1st

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    So You Think You Can Recap: SYTYCD 6/30/11

    Posted in: Blog, Tube Talk

    (This week’s Results Show recap is brought to you again by Heather (@HeatherRecently) due to Cole “scheduling conflicts.” Has anyone ever seen him and Justin Timberlake in the same place at the same time? Didn’t think so.)

    When it comes to televised talent shows, I like to play it fast and loose. Office pools for NCAA playoffs and Oscar Awards alike are tainted with bullshit statistics and insider opinions. That’s why I prefer to let Lady Luck have her way with me unprotected, in the raw, the way God intended. Yes, I’ll be making predictions before watching this week’s elimination show without any prior knowledge of the outcome.  This is the kind of chaos you can expect when Cole outsources his blog, so prepare yourselves, America.

    Bottom 3: Clarice & Jess, Mitchell & Caitlyn, Ashley & Chris. The judges will slobber all over Jess’s growth (as a technical dancer, not his hidden questionably phallic tumor, although that would be quite the sight) and Clarice’s legs, keeping them safe. Mitchell will deliver with his solo but will get the “if you continue on this show, you’ll need to step it up” speech, sending Mini Leguizamo back to doing windmills on the street. In a battle to the death of who can flash her coslopus the most times in 30 seconds, Caitlyn will ultimately stay and Ashley will cry and lisp her way home. Number of times the judges say the choice was difficult: 2. Number of times Cat will awkwardly shoo contestants offstage: 3. Number of times someone will go in for a hug only to be ignored by their intended recipient: 1. OK, I think I’m ready. Let’s do this.

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  • June30th

    3 Comments

    So You Think You Can Recap: SYTYCD 6/29/11

    Posted in: Blog, Tube Talk

    First of all, let’s be clear.  Vanessa is writing this.  Cole is somewhere setting a jet or something.    Because I am a woman I will issue a DISCLAIMER: I am not a regular viewer of the program and I AM drinking.  I am also hanging out with my friend Mandy (hey girl!) and she is also drinking.   (So you can picture it- we are on the couch with one of my dogs.  Mandy is a small beautiful Australian.  I am none of these three but I am feeling rambunctious tonight.)

    OVERALL NOTE: Take anything bitchy I say with a grain of salt.  Bottom line:  these are all amazing performers and I love how positive the program is.  As a whole, the show frustrates me, because I’m pretty sure my body didn’t come with some standard issue joints.  How do they DO that?

    IT BEGINS: The show kicks off with what I am CERTAIN is Anne Hathaway in a Marilyn Monroe costume.  I didn’t know she was on this show!  And why can’t she afford a better wig?   Oh, it’s NOT Anne Hathaway!  It is a completely different person who can’t afford a better wig.  And her name is Cat Deely and apparently she is the Ryan Seacrest of the show.  (I tell this comparison to Mandy, and she says, “She’s not like Ryan Seacrest at all! Isn’t he wee? Isn’t she a monster?  He would be like a little parrot on her shoulder!”)

    Boom! Flash! Dancers run out, do a fun Westside Story-esque strut and shimmy- then STRIKE A POSE. I love it when people strike poses!

    Now, we go to the judges!:

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  • June25th

    2 Comments

    So You Think You Can Recap: SYTYCD 6/23/11

    Posted in: Tube Talk, Uncategorized

    Since Cole is too busy being chauffeured around Vegas in a gold limousine to trouble himself with watching this week’s results show, this recap is being guest written by TV/pop culture/dancing Asians fan Heather (@HeatherRecently on Twitter). Cole will be back next week, assuming he didn’t lose a tooth (or find a baby) during his absence.

    Cat introduces the show looking gorgeous in one-shoulder red dress and cherry red lipstick. She uses a cocktail analogy that somehow implies a hangover. I can only assume this is directed at Debbie Reynolds, who took Wadi with her to the assisted living community last night and played strip bingo into the wee hours of the morning (citation needed). Read More | Comments

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